Creation Of Self

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.  ~Thomas Szasz, “Personal Conduct,” The Second Sin, 1973

I’ve been through alot in the last year and a half.  All of it is a learning experience for me.  It’s beautiful and I love it.  For awhile I felt completely disconnected to myself – my spirit.  Today I can say I don’t feel pain, I don’t feel anger, I don’t feel embarassment – it’s all simply gone and was a lesson plan that I’ve completed and passed.  I feel I deserve an A+ teacher!

When there is a balance with spririt and physical self – the result, for me, is a feeling of flying.  Like I can run forever, laugh forever and fly as high as I wish.  I feel wonderful, excited and so joyful.

Friends and family have been around to hear all of the drama… gossip is very damaging.  I have found those friends I can trust with my innermost thoughts and dreams and fears.  They are the ones that are without judgement and simply love me and support me.  I’ve learned who I can trust and who stands in judgement.

I have finally started to connect with my spirit.  It’s been so long… but it feels so good.  I wish I could expain with words how I truly feel, but the language is too restricting.

The seizures where because of a huge unbalance – my body simply couldn’t take the pain, depression, stress and anger.  It’s over now – and I can live my life and love those around me.  The seizures have stopped – and I can finally move forward.

I finally can begin to learn about me – Monica – the one who’s always been there for me.

Let it Begin and Bring It!